Dear cold weather,
Kindly sod off. We've had quite enough of it being -3C when we leave the house in the morning. We've had enough of frozen toes and drippy noses. We've had enough of the sky high heating bills and I personally have had quite enough of the skin on my hands being so dry I could use them to sand back my dining room skirting boards. So please kindly do sod off, at least until November and we can pass you off as being 'Christmassy'.
Sincerely
Everyone
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